


Chivalry Isn't Dead

by kemvon



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Asexual Character, Elijah Kamski & Gavin Reed are Siblings, First Kiss, Gay Disaster Gavin Reed, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Trans Gavin Reed, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple, angst is just angery boy gavin, gavin reed has feelings, he's really bad with them, spoiler: it's nines, there will be a happy ending I swear
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2020-09-18 21:07:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20319511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kemvon/pseuds/kemvon
Summary: Gavin has to go on an undercover op with Nines to be his partner. The night leads to a kiss, drugs, and not talking about feelings.





	1. Lie with the truth

The undercover mission was supposed to be simple. Even if Gavin didn’t particularly want to do it, he generally enjoyed undercover operations that had a bit more… spice.

Spice meant Rita Underwood, Red Ice dealer extraordinaire, big boss of quite an extensive drug ring. Spice meant a luxurious gala filled with criminals wearing flattering, expensive attire (that was probably not obtained legitimately) that all they needed to arrest was a confession. 

Spice did not mean Nines.

Even if Nines looked ridiculously good in a black long sleeve with tie and jeans, his hair flopping to the side in an unnaturally messy way, his LED still a shining blue. Nines was still a pain, and Gavin had to suffer with him as his partner.

Especially for this mission.

Apparently Rita had a female android partner, and the precinct had thought that if Nines and Gavin showed up as romantic partners, then it might lead her to be less careful with her words. 

Relating to others and all of that.

It was a stupid idea that Gavin had vehemently argued against, that there were other people that Nines could go with, hell some had even offered to go. 

But their partnership, although strained, actually worked well: they were good partners when it came to police work. 

Hank and Connor were too recognisable as cops: Nines’ existence wasn’t common knowledge and Gavin had a reputation more as an asshole than as a cop. 

For Fowler, it had been an easy decision.

Gavin is still grumbling as they roll up at the mansion. Nines has their invites in the pocket of his (why the hell were they so tight?) pants. He’d offered to drive, but no one but Gavin was allowed to drive his car.

If he comes back and found that his car had been vandalised, someone was going to die.

‘Detective.’ That stupidly soft voice. Gavin turns to glare at Nines.

Fuck. He needs a smoke. This wasn’t a good idea. Fuck, why had he agreed, he was going to -

‘Please calm down,’ Nines reaches out to him, hesitating, leaving his hand in the air. ‘It is only for pretense. You do not need to worry.’

‘I don’t give a rat’s ass if the precinct knows I’m gay. I don’t even give a fuck that I’m going with you. It’s just - fuck, I haven’t done an undercover op in fucking ages, and I just don’t want to mess up.’ Gavin swears a couple more times under his breath. He's so vulnerable, so open, he just wants to smoke and then go home.

Nines’ hand comes to his shoulder and rubs soothing circles. Gavin really wants to shrug it off, to say he was fine, but he really needs something to ground him right now.

He breathes in and out, something that he remembered from the therapy years ago. In-hold-out. In-hold-out. In-hold-out.

He’s just had enough. Being an ass to Nines is just too much, after everything that the android has done for him. But it was too weird to be nice, too out-of-character, too ‘un-Gavin’.

Whatever ‘Gavin’ even was any more. He doesn't know who he was anymore.

So why not act like someone else tonight?  
Gavin breathes in a deep breath, rearranges his facial features, and smiles at Nines. ‘Thanks, babe.’

Nines says nothing. His LED stutters yellow, his crystal-blue eyes wide. ‘I,’ He coughs, even is androids don't need to cough. ‘Of course, darling. Now, shall we enter?’ 

Nines, ever the gentleman (gentle android?), gets out first and opens the door for Gavin. 

Gavin laughs, not unkindly. He takes the offered hand and closes the car door behind him. ‘C’mon. Let’s go.’

They lace their fingers together and Gavin fights the urge to blush. It was all fake, all pretend - how could someone like Nines ever like someone like him?

The mansion is an expensive thing of modern grey walls and white pillars. The double doors are open, guards in thousand-dollar suits standing, checking the invites. Lights filter out into the well-maintained garden, the pleasant chatter of the illegally rich emanating from inside.

They walk to the doors, and Gavin lets Nines do the talking. 

‘Good evening.’ The android pulls out their invites. The guard looks at them, their intertwined hands, the LED on Nines’ temple. She motions them inside, and Gavin is immediately overwhelmed with a multitude of sensations.

There’s the chatter. They’re all dancing around illegal topics, acting as though they’re not criminals, using sophisticated words to dip the waters. There’s classical music in the background that adds to that elegant feel.

There’s the lights. They’re blinding white and cream and rainbow, soft and harsh at the same time. They aren’t the flashing disco lights of a party, and that somehow makes it worse.

Gavin doesn’t feel like he belongs here. He’s just some third-rate cop that can’t solve cases for shit.

Nines squeezes his hand. He’s probably analysing Gavin’s vitals. ‘Come. Let’s get drinks.’

Gavin really wants to drink right now, needs that buzz to help take the edge off, but he figures out the real reason behind Nines’ offer: Rita Underwood and her partner were standing, chatting near the drinks table.

He murmurs and - fuck, he even smiles, and it feels so real, he feels like he’s already drunk. ‘Sure.’

He’s so drunk on Nines he can hardly feel himself moving.

They get to the drinks table, and Nines’ hand is hovering behind Gavin’s back. They’re in earshot of Rita and her partner, but nothing that sounds like a confession. The two women haven’t noticed them yet, and Gavin reaches for a drink.

He swallows it down in a second, the alcohol burning the back of his throat. He closes his eyes in bliss; this was what made the hangovers worth it. 

It’s not the shitty beer that Gavin’s used to, it’s some kind of expensive champagne that still gets him drunk and he can’t find it in him to care.

Gavin’s got a pretty high alcohol tolerance but the tingling feeling in his body is helping.

‘You,’ Nines whispers, and all of a sudden Nines’ mouth is at his ear, his hands at Gavin’s waist, pulling the detective flush against the android’s body. ‘Look far too good for chivalry.’

Gavin wants to pull away. He wants to leave before he can't escape anymore, before his feelings are set in stone.

This is all a lie, he reminds himself. We're just acting.

Gavin hopes that Nines' lie detecting software isn't working, because he's going to tell the truth and pass it off as an act.

'You too.' He whispers back, snaking his hands behind Nines' back. One comes up to rest on the android's tie.

And then he does it.

Gavin pulls on the tie and smashes his lips against Nines' synthetic ones, messy and rough. 

Nines is shocked but he doesn't pull back; he slowly moves his lips back against Gavin's, his hands coming up to cup the detective's face.

Gavin can see a flash of red in his peripheral vision, but fuck does this feel good, he feels safe and like he belongs here, in Nines' arms, holding him back.

It's a weird kiss that is less lust and more embarassing feelings, soft and sweet. Gavin has to tell himself again and again that Nines is just acting. 

They're just doing this to get a confession out of Rita. He can't let himself get his hopes up.

Gavin closes his eyes and lets himself be lost in bliss and hopes for a moment. He can't find it in him to care that the lips he is kissing aren't human, that they're surrounded by ballroom lights and people rich for all the wrong reasons.

He wants to hold Nines' hand and hug and kiss him, to stay up with him until the late hours of the night talking about everything and nothing, to comfort and be comforted.

Gavin can't stop the feelings now and he hates it. Nines probably doesn't return them anyways.

He has to tell himself that if he doesn't want to get hurt.

Nines is the one to pull away, soft, his lips lingering above Gavin's. He pulls the shorter man back for another kiss, this one short and chaste, hardly a puff of air.

It feels like a promise. Like Nines knows.

Gavin wants to run away.

But he can't, because there's a laugh that sounds like bells ringing.

Rita. Fuck. He'd forgotten about her. That's why they were here; that's why they were kissing, to make Rita feel as though she had something in common with them, to make her divulge just enough information to be able to investigate further.

'Well,' she chuckles, her voice so sweet for someone with a life so dark. 'I didn't think that there would be any other android-human couples here tonight.'

Nines is the one to answer, because Gavin still has a stupid smile on his face and he's trying not to have a breakdown. 

'Neither did we.' Nines says, his LED a serene blue, tightening his grip on Gavin. They're side by side and holding hands once again.

Nines is rubbing soothing circles into his hand, and Gavin just wants to lean into the warmth and never let go.

'It's quite rare, isn't it, Rita?' It's Rita's partner talking. Gavin recognises her as a AP700 model. He hasn't seen many of those around after the revolution. 'So brave, too, to show your love for each other.'

Gavin considers for a moment; his mind skips right over the concept of him loving Nines or Nines loving him, because both of those things could never happen.

He considers that the android might know what Rita is up to. She and Nines might be able to interface or something.

Or perhaps she didn't know, left in the dark, her own lover lying to her.

'How did you two meet?' Rita asks, and Gavin realises that her voice is too sweet. 

'At work,' Gavin says, going with the lie that they've practiced. 'He was a new employee, and I saw him talking with some of the other office workers. I just knew that I couldn't resist him.'

He looks up at Nines and he can't stop himself from smiling. The RK900 looks like he should be the most intimidating android ever, and sometimes he is, but Gavin knows how soft he really is.

It isn't a lie, what he's saying. The first time he saw Nines, he just knew that the android was going to have an effect on him. 

So he hid it behind anger and harsh words, just like he did with everyone. Tina had been the only one to break through his facade before Nines came along. 

The android has his own special place in Gavin's heart. It’s at the place of ‘I have feelings for you but I’m too scared to admit it so I ignore them and you’. It’s at the place of ‘you don’t take any of my shit so I admire and respect you but I’m also salty at you for that.’

‘Hmm,’ Rita smiles, slow and sweet and ugly. ‘It’s like that for us too, isn’t it, Ashley?’

Who had met who first? It’s something that is in Gavin’s mind, tempting, curious. They are here to get enough information to procure an investigation, but here they get fake love and fake smiles and fake words.

‘Indeed it was,’ the android murmurs, a stupid, slow, loving smile on her face, and Gavin, for the life of him, can’t tell whether or not it’s real. ‘Your job is quite hard, isn’t it?’

The detective can’t tell if she’s talking about the accounting firm she runs or the Red Ice drug ring. But it’s the closest they’ve been to information all night, and the gala is halfway over.

‘It really is. You were my perfect relief,’ Rita murmurs back in her lover’s ear, and then she looks back at the couple before her. ‘You aren’t, perchance, against the less… well-known of activities, are you?’

Gavin smirks. This is why he’s here. He’s had regrettable experiences with drugs and the like, but that just makes him better at the narcotics cases. He knows all of the codewords, the secret looks, the cautious asks.

‘Well,’ he says, drawing it out. ‘I wouldn’t say we don’t… dabble in that kinda thing.’

Rita smiles, and it’s so, so ugly, and Gavin realises that “Ashley” damn well knows what she’s up to. He just has to hope that she can’t detect any lies in the half-truths that he’s telling. 

‘Come,’ she says, a resting possessively on her android’s back, the other pointing towards the back of the ballroom. ‘I’ll show you some… items I have on sale.’  
Gavin knows just what kind of items she’s offering. He just has to keep his detectiveness to himself for the rest of the night, and make sure that Nines, uptight person that he is, doesn’t do anything stupid.

Gavin raises himself to whisper in Nines’ ear. ‘Don’t take off the mask just yet, babe.’

Nines - fuck, he shudders, his arms wrapping around Gavin, possessive, meaningful -

It’s all just a lie, Gavin tells himself.

‘I won’t, love.’ The android whispers back, and he presses a soft kiss to Gavin’s cheek.  
\--  
The rest of the night goes past in a blur. He does some drugs at some point. It’s something that he’s allowed to do for the mission. He dances with Nines and he doesn’t remember much. He might’ve kissed Nines again. He doesn’t know.

Gavin finds himself in the car. Nines is driving, which Not-High Gavin would have never agreed to. 

Nines says nothing. Gavin just groans at the post-high coming down feeling. It’s nothing like being drunk and sobering up. It’s a weird feeling that makes him want to do it again, but he’s gotten over that addiction ages ago, and he really doesn’t want to do it again.

Nines is his own personal drug.

Gavin doesn’t say anything; he just wants to forget that this whole night and half-day (it must be early in the morning) ever happened.

He doesn’t want to admit what he feels for Nines.


	2. Knife in the heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day fills Gavin with anger, and he doesn't want to give any answers when he doesn't get any in return.

Everything goes by so quickly.

Nines brings him home and leaves, and then all of a sudden it’s morning for Gavin.

Morning brings a terrible headache, and whilst the drugs were fun to do at the time, the day after makes him regret it. The headache is closer to a migraine, and Gavin can hardly move around.

He can’t go to the precinct like this.

‘Fuck,’ Gavin croaks out. Everything hurts - his heart, his body, his mind.

Gavin flings his hand over to where his phone is, and even that is hard. He cracks his eyes open and somehow manages to dial Fowler’s number.

It rings a couple times and then the captain picks up. ‘Captain Fowler, Detroit Police Department.’

It’s weird to hear his captain’s voice over the phone. Fowler sounds tired. Gavin can almost picture the frown on his dark face.

‘Fuck, uh, Fowler,’ Gavin begins, the words sluggish in his mouth. ‘Can’t come to the precinct today, the, the, uh, stuff last night really fucked me up. I can, fuck, um, I can try and do a report today or somethin.’

‘Reed,’ Fowler sighs, the sound somehow hurting Gavin’s ears. ‘Richard already sent in all that was needed. Take the day off.’ It’s weirdly nice of Fowler to offer him the day off, with all of Gavin’s disciplinary papers, but he’s never taken a day off.

Gavin can’t stop his heart from aching at the sound of Nines taking care of - 

He can’t think like that. It isn’t going to end well.

‘Yeah, can you-’ Gavin coughs, the headache setting a relentless pounding in his head. ‘Can you- can you like, not thank him, but, fucking, just, tell him thanks or whatever.’ 

‘Sure, Reed,’ Fowler hangs up. The click seems unnaturally loud to Gavin’s ears. He sets the phone down and curls up to sleep.

\--

The yowling of his cats wakes him up. There’s some clattering around the laundry in his apartment where he keeps the cat food. Did the cats get in it again?

There’s more clattering and Gavin thinks he can hear someone talking. His ears pick up the familiar sound of the cat bowls being set down, the cats shutting up, and -

‘There’s your food, eat it, you dipshit!’

It’s Tina. Gavin opens his eyes to try and see the time - the clock reads something around midday. What’s she doing at his apartment?

It’s not the first time that she’s come to his apartment without his knowledge, but never during a work day. Tina’s serious about her work. 

There’s footsteps that stop at the door of his room. It creaks open and Gavin directs his blurry vision at the intruder.

Tina sits at the edge of his bed. ‘Hey, Gav.’ 

Gavin groans as a response. Tina smiles to herself, and Gavin forces out sounds from his dry throat.

‘Hey,’ He whispers, feeling like crying. He’s not sure if he actually does cry. He can’t tell what’s real and what isn’t.

‘I’m going back to work after this.’

Gavin’s pretty sure that he’s crying now. Tina strokes his hair.

‘Fowler sent me to check up on you. Oh, and to give you some medication to help,’ she hands him a glass of water and some prescription-type medicine. It better be good, because Gavin feels like death.

Gavin downs the water and the tablets in a second or two. Immediately, the headache starts receding, although the tiredness in his muscles is still there. Cyberlife did do some good advancements in pharmaceuticals.

Tina’s his best friend. She’s always been there for him, through his breakups and breakdowns. She’s the first person that he calls when he’s drunk, or when he wants to hurt himself. She’s the only person that can understand and help him.

‘Thanks,’ Gavin murmurs. He loves her so much, unbelievably so, in such a pure platonic way. ‘Love you.’

He doesn’t say it often. They’ve said it to each other once or twice, but usually it’s in actions, not words, how much they love each other. How much they’ll be there for each other.

Tina smiles at him. ‘Love you too, Gav. Just be sure to get a lot of rest.’

She stays there for a bit, stroking his hair and humming a lullaby. Gavin thinks haphazardly to childhood memories, when he was sick in bed, his mother taking care of him.

It feels weird to be taken care of. It’s not something that he’s used to; he rejects any kind of help, always looks for an ulterior motive.

Tina’s the only person he’s let see him this way. 

Tina gets up from his bed and starts to leave. Gavin is already falling asleep, so he hardly hears her say something about Nines.

\--

When Gavin wakes up again, he feels much better. The headache is near gone - there is only a dull ache at the back of his skull. He can move around without feeling like vomiting, and he can actually see.

He still feels like shit, and he’s hungry as fuck.

Gavin gets up, and a small ball of fur - one of his cats - mewls as the source of warmth leaves. Gavin pets the cat - he’s too tired to tell which one it is - absentmindedly as he considers what to eat.

He’ll probably just grab one of the packs of mi goreng. He doesn’t feel like putting effort in. Not to mention, mi goreng is pretty tasty.

Gavin leaves his room clad in only sweatpants - he’d shed his shirt at some point during his fever-filled sleep. He heads towards the kitchen, picking up one of the cats to move them out of his way. He gets to the door of his kitchen, and -

He’s not alone.

Nines is there, his Cyberlife jacket draped over one of the kitchen stools. The android seems to be humming a song under his breath as he makes something that smells absolutely delicious.

Gavin just stands there, like an idiot.

Nines turns around, an awkward smile on his beautiful face. ‘Good afternoon, Detective Reed. I trust that Detective Chen informed you of my arrival?’

‘Uh,’ Gavin utters, as eloquent as ever. ‘Don’ think I was really awake.’

Nines isn’t as happy as he was last night - he’s a bit distant, cold, reverting to the first couple of weeks of their partnership.

Gavin doesn’t like it.

‘Hm,’ Nines says, turning his back to Gavin as he continues to cook. 

Images flood Gavin’s mind of Nines cooking more often - no, no, no, he can’t think like that. 

‘I am preparing soy-braised chicken with noodles. I do not recall you having any allergies, so I believe that you will not mind it.’

Gavin coughs. ‘It seems - it seems fine.’ He sits down on the stool, watching Nines cook. It’s weirdly calming. 

Nines finishes, turns off the stove, empties the noodles and chicken into a bowl and places it before Gavin. Gavin takes the bowl, on autopilot, picks up his fork and knife, and doesn’t eat.

He doesn’t eat much. It’s a mix of hating his body and just not having the time.

Nines just stares at him, his LED flickering yellow. Gavin stares back. He knows that they need to talk about last night, but he’s scared.

He’s always scared.

This - with Nines - is something that could happen, and he’s just so scared by that possibility. He hasn’t had good experiences in the past.

‘Detective Reed,’ the android says, soft and quiet and tender. ‘I believe we need to discuss the happenings of last night.’

Gavin says nothing - he’s tempted to start eating just to avoid this conversation. He huffs out a small laugh at the wording, and then he just thinks.

‘Gavin,’ he stutters out.

Nines just looks at him, those blue eyes soul-piercing. ‘Pardon?’

‘You can - you can call me Gavin. We’re not at work and -’ Gavin coughs, cutting himself off. ‘I dunno. Detective Reed just seems too formal.’

He’s started to hate the sound of “Detective Reed”, a reminder of what he is. What he will always be. He isn’t sure if he’ll hate the sound of Gavin even more.

‘Gavin, then.’

His name in Nines’ mouth just feels so weirdly good, so weirdly right. He wants to hear it more often, every day.

‘Last night.’

‘Yes.’

‘You kissed me.’

‘Yes.’

‘Why?’

Now that’s an awkward question. There’s no yes or no, no black or white. Gavin sighs, resigns himself, prepares his words.

They don’t come out.

They’re stuck at the back of his throat, and Gavin is scared. He takes a breath in, tries to calm his anxiety, and the words just won't come out.

Gavin deflects the question like a mirror reflects an image, similar but different, anything to take the question away from him.

‘Why did you say what you said?’ 

There’s anger in his voice. He’s mostly mad at Nines, for trying to make this his fault, asking the questions like they’re in an interrogation.

But he also wants to know. Gavin wants to know why, why would he say words that aren’t true to Gavin’s ears. They were both so wrong and right to his ears. He wants to hear them more often, but he can’t believe that he could.

The possibility of Nines returning his feelings is more frightening than the feelings themselves.

Nines’ LED is red. It’s the cruel red of blood, red against artificial white, stark in contrast. He’s quiet, much like Gavin, robotic like an android that’s newly deviated and only just realised that they could emote.

Gavin can’t deal with this. He still has a dull ache at the back of his mind, a sore spot itching to be scratched. He can’t deal with the red LED, the sky blue eyes, the impassive face. 

Nines doesn’t-fucking-answer. He just looks at Gavin, as if the detective were a mind reader. 

He isn’t. He has no idea what Nines wants from him. What is this - an experiment, for the android to see how deviancy is? For a straight boy to see if he was - 

Gavin’s been here before, and it never ends well. It ends with a fuck you, I hate you, a fuck off, a get out, a can’t believe I trusted you.

He doesn’t like generalising people, but Nines’ non-existent actions are pulling up memory after memory, trauma after trauma.

It hurts. Gavin’s got a pretty high pain tolerance, working with the police, having a rough childhood, but this hurts more than any bullet he’s ever taken.

So Gavin, ever the coward, tells Nines to get out. It hurts to say the words. But he’s angry, angry that Nines won’t give him an answer but expects him to give up his.

‘Get out.’ 

It’s like someone has stabbed him and is twisting the knife. It’s happened before. This feels just like it, the pain just as real.

‘Fucking hell, just go!’

Gavin realises that in his mind, he’s the one holding the knife. There’s blood on his hands as he pulls it out of his chest, forcing something that he doesn’t want. 

It would be much smarter to keep the knife in, stall the bleeding, but Gavin is rash and he’s always preferred removing the knife so that he could go.

Nines says nothing. The android just takes his jacket and puts it on and leaves and then he’s gone. He’s gone, gone, gone.

The door closes shut, quiet, echoing in Gavin’s mind.

It hurts Gavin, but he has to do it, has to get out before everything is too real once again. He was scared of what Nines was going to say - that’s why he took the knife out, he was scared.

He’s always scared, and he hates it.

Gavin’s used to taking care of himself. He’s used to this. He can move on, live his life, ignore his feelings for Nines, work and live and -

He can’t. He can’t do this. His feelings are too real. 

Gavin makes up his mind that he will apologise to Nines. He doesn’t know when or how, but he knows that he has to. 

This isn’t like the other times. Gavin just has to tell himself that, put on his mask, be brave. 

Fuck, he hates this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha, yes, angst, what i love and now what i write.
> 
> thanks to Kenoa for some inspiration, i really was going to make nines smack some sense into trash man but like,, angst


	3. Drowning under emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines and Gavin suffer separately with the aftermath of their actions.

Nines is hurt.

Not physically - there is no lack of thirium, no damaged biocomponents. But there are notifications popping up in his vision, a software instability, a red overheating alert.

His android body is reacting to the emotions he was feeling, and he doesn’t like it. Nines walks on autopilot, reaching his apartment without even realising it. Everything is done on pre constructions.

He tries to go into stasis but he can’t; the ache in his chest is too much. Nines feels as though he’s going to be sick. It isn’t physical - androids resemble humans closely, but they don’t have the capacity to feel sick or even adrenaline.

It’s mental, and that just makes it worse.

Everything hurts.

His mind, complicated piece of technology it is, plays the memory over and over again.

_‘Get out!’_

Nines doesn’t understand. His analysis is running wild. He replays the memory of the night, finds nothing to tell him that Gavin’s actions weren’t true. Finds nothing to prove that the detective had only done it for the case.

_‘Why did you say what you said?’_

In this moment, Nines understands and doesn’t understand at the same time. He knows exactly why he said what he said - it was the truth, Gavin looked far too good and he just wanted everyone to know that the detective was his.

And he hadn’t been able to tell Gavin that. He’d been expecting an answer from Gavin - why had he kissed him? Why, even if all the signs led to the truth of his actions, why push him away, act as though nothing had happened?

Why -

‘Richard,’ A call, bypassing his systems. Connor. The RK800. ‘Are you alright? Your stress levels are rising, and I received a notification.’

‘I’m fine. I was simply going through case data and got overwhelmed.’

The RK800 doesn’t believe him. Nines checks his stress levels - 81% and still rising.

Nines curses internally - _fuck._ He can’t believe he’s so affected by Gavin. He hates it - it was hard enough managing all of his other emotions, and now this just hurts even more.

Deviating was already hard enough. All of these new emotions, and he didn’t know what to do with them. Gavin brings up so many conflicting ones; anger, joy, nervousness, sorrow, excitement. The whole mix of them all at once, and Nines doesn’t know what to do with them.

It’s like being thrown into a pool when you don’t know how to swim. There are too many things at once; the water, your body, the light, the ground, you don’t know where to go or what to do. How do you move your arms? How do you kick your feet?

How do you _breathe?_

‘If you ever need anything, I am here.’

‘Understood.’

He knows that he won’t call Connor. He’ll internalise everything and try to act like nothing ever happened, as much as he wants to shake some sense into Gavin. Nines is scared - he doesn’t know anything anymore. He can’t tell whether or not Gavin’s actions are true.

Connor disconnects with a quiet “take care, Richard”. Nines hears him but doesn’t care. He’s too busy thinking of other things.

He knows why he said what he said to Gavin - it had been the simple, terrible truth. Gavin had looked far too good that night, and Nines had wanted to claim him, let everyone know that this man was his, this brilliant detective that hid behind rough words.

He doesn’t know why Gavin did what he did - perhaps just a “spur of the moment” type of thing? A reason to make fun of him, the most advanced android model of all time? An experiment?

Nines isn’t human and he hates it. He’s restricted to this body of wires and electric signals and thirium. His thoughts are hardly his own. His personality is pre-made.

He’s probably not even deviant. He’s probably tricked himself into thinking he could have feelings, be alive. He’s just an android; he was made for the betterment of someone else’s world.

Errors after errors pop up in Nines’ HUD. Software instabilities, overheating warnings, stress level warnings -

Nines shuts off his alert system, along with his optical and audio processors, and goes into stasis.

\--

Gavin’s an idiot.

He’s an absolute, one-hundred percent, fucking idiot.

Consider: a handsome, kind, protective, simply amazing android, who you’ve kissed. Because you wanted to, because this guy could hold you in his arms forever and you’d feel like you belonged somewhere for once in your life.

Also consider: kicking him out of your house because you’re a coward.

Gavin doesn’t feel good. At all. He’s probably drunk out of his mind, and he’ll wake up with a terrible hangover, but at this point he just doesn’t care.

The detective doesn’t drink often; only at parties or with friends. Never alone. That’s usually too depressing, even for him.

_Today’s an exception,_ he tells himself. _It’s just a one time thing._

Because he just wants to forget everything he’s just done. He wants to forget kissing Nines because he likes that idiot way too much, he wants to forget telling the android to get out because he’s scared, he wants to forget the relationships gone bad, he wants to forget _everything._

Drinking just makes him depressed when it’s done alone. With friends, it adds to the life, the action of the party; gives him that buzz and makes him feel _free._

There’s knocking at his door. Gavin can’t find it in him to get up and open it. He’s restrained to the couch forever, and even his cats have deserted him.

They’ll probably yowl at him when they’re hungry anyways.

There’s a jingle of keys, some muttering, and the door opens.

‘Gavin?’ A tentative, worried voice.

Gavin laughs, the sound rough and harsh and ugly. It’s not a happy laugh. ‘Teens!’

Tina sighs and makes her way over to him. She gags, covers her mouth, mutters ‘ah, fuck’ under her breath, and then looks at him with that mother-hen look.

‘Gavin, what happened?’ She asks, her face scrunched up with worry. Gavin feels bad for making her look this way. ‘You haven’t been answering your phone.’

‘Oh,’ Gavin croaks, and fumbles around for the last place he put his phone. He finds it on the floor, a couple of meters away from him.

Tina walks over to it and picks it up. She turns it on, and holds the screen in Gavin’s view.

18 missed calls. All from Tina.

‘You weren’t answering,’ she repeats, her voice soft, like she was treating an injured animal. ‘I was worried.’

Gavin just looks at her.

‘I thought that this might be a repeat of last time.’

Last time -

Last time -

Last time when he’d been considering killing himself because he was just so done with everything.

Last time when he was having a panic attack and couldn’t physically answer the phone.

Last time when he’d gotten injured on a chase and hadn’t had the energy to answer, and paramedics had been the ones to call Tina.

‘Which last time?’ Gavin forces out, trying to lighten up the room, to make a joke and not feel so bad about himself.

Tina just looks at him, her eyes sad. She gets up and brings him a glass water. ‘Drink this.’ Her voice doesn’t leave any room for argument. She’s strong and stubborn and won’t take no for an answer.

Gavin drinks the water, quiet and still quite drunk. He sobers up a little after a couple of glasses of water. Tina waits for him to start talking.

He cries while he talks, the tears coming down like rain, unashamed and constant. ‘I just - I just told him to get out, and I didn’ want him to leave, but he did, and he’s gone an-and he probably hates me now, and I just don’ know why he said what he said, and fuck, I don’ get anything that goes on his mind.’

Tina strokes his hair and listens to him talk.

‘He’s just too perfect for me, ya’know? I’m just some shitty cop and he’s the most advanced prototype Cyberlife ever fuckin’ made. He’s nice and doesn’t take any of my shit and he’s always there and he doesn’t do everything that he’s told, and I respect that and admire that.’

One of the cats peeks their head in and jumps up onto Gavin’s lap.

‘He’s just too perfect and I’m… not. I don’t deserve someone as good as him.’

Tina’s grip tightens on his hair. ‘Don’t say that. You deserve someone like Nines, even if you were an asshole to him, that guy would probably forgive you for killing him.’

‘Fuck, I really was an asshole, wasn’t I?’

‘I hate to say it, Gav, but you really were. I know it was mostly because of past trauma and all, but you gotta give the guy a chance. Not every guy is like the guys you’ve had in the past.’

Gavin smiles. This is why he loves Tina. She just tells him the truth, blunt and honest and never sugarcoating her words. She doesn’t let him get away with anything, but she doesn’t punish him for the things that he’s done; she makes him understand what he should do next time.

He remembers her telling him that she’s not a big fan of punishment. She’d said something like ‘discipline and punishment aren’t the same thing. One is making you understand why some things are right or wrong, the other is making you fear the wrong thing.’

That had stuck with him.

‘I gotta apologise to him,’ Gavin realises, twisting his hands, anxious. ‘Oh, fuck, I gotta apologise.’

‘Yeah, you do need to do that. You can do that on Monday,’ Tina says, getting him some aspirin and another glass of water. Gavin gulps down the pill and water without hesitation.

‘Wait, what day is it?’

‘It’s Saturday. You’ve got a bit to get your shit together.’

Gavin says nothing, still feeling the resigned anger of the recent events. ‘Okay.’

It’s decided, then: Monday, he’d apologise to Nines and explain that the reason he’d kissed him was because he had a crush on the android. He wouldn’t back out or else Tina would be on his ass.

Tina leaves, leaving Gavin alone with figuring out exactly how he’s going to apologise to Nines.

All he knows is that the second he sees the android, he’ll apologise. He’s not letting this one go.

\--

Nines doesn’t show up to work on Monday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahahhaah i do like angst, don't i?
> 
> this is more just a "filler" chapter for you guys as i get started on the next one (which i'm hoping i can drag onto 3k words. tbh, i never expected to end up writing this much, this was originally just going to be a one-shot)
> 
> the next chapter is gonna be FUN


	4. Pain Is Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nines is found and rescued. Gavin and Connor ask Kamski for help with the injured android.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you Jillybeanjoy for pointing out some missing information which I have now chucked in

Everything hurts. Everything’s changed, and now it all hurts, unbelievably so.

Nines just wants to go back to how things were before. This is hard to live with; instabilities and alerts that won’t go away. Something foreign is in his system, hiding from his firewalls. It randomly shuts down some of his systems, then passes on and they reboot.

The mental pain hurts; it’s an aching in his chest that Nines can’t explain. It’s cold and hot at the same time, like the feeling of snow against warm hands.

A face comes up in his vision, blurry and cruel; words are spoken but he doesn't hear them. Nines' facial recognition software runs, slower than usual, and comes up with a name - Sonia Griffin.

He tries to get a message out to Connor, Gavin, anyone, but he's forced into stasis before he can even get the words down.

A cruel smile is the last thing he sees.

\--

‘What the fuck do you mean he didn’t show up today?’

There’s so much yelling. Gavin feels like he’s about to explode. Connor and Hank are with him in Fowler’s office, all for the same reason - where the fuck is Nines? - but they’re all reacting in different ways.

Hank is solemn, almost as if he knows something. His idea is that someone kidnapped him, which Gavin shot down immediately - he’s a goddamn RK900, a top of the line military android, so no one should be able to kidnap him.

‘He seemed to be in a vulnerable state yesterday,’ Connor says, shooting Gavin a glare. They’re not as hateful towards each other as they once were, but neither are they best buddies now. Gavin hates it. He knows that he screwed up, and he knows that he’s tried to make amends with the RK800, but he still thinks that Connor’s a little shit. ‘I believe that it had something to do with you.’

‘What the fuck do you mean by that?’ It’s hard to keep the anger contained - he’s so worried for Nines that his mind is going overdrive.

What if he’s self-destructed? What is he has been kidnapped? What if it’s all his fault, because he was a coward, and now Nines is gone, and it’s all his fault and what if and -

‘Do any of you have a way to contact or find Richard?’

Hank and Connor look almost guilty. Hank answers on behalf of the android; ‘We’ve tried calling him, as well as texting, but from what Connor can tell he’s mostly “offline”, or something like that.’

Fowler turns to Gavin. ‘And you, Reed?’

Gavin thinks back to his knowledge of androids, which is rather extensive. ‘We - we can try to track him.’

Connor scoffs, the undertone of idiot clear through his actions. ‘Richard cannot be tracked. The RK900 model doesn’t have a tracking chip that is accessible for those that are not of his model line. We’ve already tried, and I wasn’t able to find it.’

‘No, his - his serial number, right,’ Gavin begins, the thoughts coming as he speaks them. Connor tries to cut him off but the detective doesn’t let him. ‘Number 313 248 317 - 87, yeah? Put that into your tracking software with model RK900 in the model input box, and - and then type, ah fuck,’

They’re all looking at him, curious and concerned, as though he’s gone crazy. Connor has the tracking software screen on his hand so that everyone can see, as though he’s just pleasuring Gavin, ready for his idea to fail.

‘Type this in the serial number box next to Nines’ number; um, it’s 10720027172002, if I’m right-’

‘What the fuck,’ Hank exclaims. Connor looks at his hand. There’s a little red dot pulsing on a map. It’s Nines. ‘Your goddamn idea worked? How in the fuck did you know this shit?’

‘It was in the RK900 files or some shit,’ Gavin says, not wanting to delay finding Nines any further. ‘Just - we know where he is now, right? We - we need to go and find him.’

\--

‘You know, I’ve always envied you,’ Hard eyes, a narrow face, stern and ugly. Nines blinks. ‘Androids, I mean. You’re immortal, made of wires and plastic.’

Nines knows that face. Not only because of his software, but because he’s seen it before. He runs through his memories, desperately trying to find that cruel, cruel face, sneering, twisted in an ugly expression.

‘You caught my husband, if you were trying to remember who I am. ‘ Sonia Griffin is smiling at him, but it’s not a nice smile. She twists a knife in her hands. ‘I was there, saw it all happen. He shot you but you didn’t stop, all of that blue blood coming out of you, but you didn’t know pain.’

Nines wants to cry. He’s scared. Scared for himself, for Connor, for Hank, for Gavin.

‘A life sentence in prison,’ She glares at him. ‘He’s dead now. Shot in prison by another prisoner. Humans die from gunshots, you know. We’re not as “advanced” as androids.’

Nines is running pre constructions to get out of there, but none of them work. His wrists are shackled down, along with his ankles.

A flash of movement, and then there’s a knife in his stomach, and then there isn’t, and then all he knows is pain.

\--

‘Are we there yet?’ Gavin’s knee is bouncing up and down. He needs a smoke. He needs to know that Nines is okay. They’ve been driving for a while, and he’s beginning to become restless.

Connor is driving; he knows all the roads to take, using the police siren that is blaring in Gavin’s ears to his advantage. He’s driving above the speed limit, better than any human. He knows exactly how long it’ll take them to get there, down to the seconds and milliseconds.

‘At least another ten minutes, Reed.’ Hank is the one to answer him. The older man is still suspicious of him, but he doesn’t dare pry. Gavin is a secretive person, and it’s hard to get anything out of him.

‘Eleven minutes and fifty three seconds.’

Connor’s voice, soft and quiet, and so, so similar to Nines’ voice, but it isn’t. Gavin yearns to hear his partner’s voice again, that soft rumble over his r’s, the hum in his l’s.

Eleven minutes and fifty three seconds go by slowly.

\--

Next comes a gun, pressed to his arm. Sonia yanks his head back so that he can see it, the cold steel against his inhuman skin.

She smiles as she pulls the trigger.

Nines screams. It hurts, more than anything. It hurt earlier, with the knife, but the knife is nothing compared to this.

It must be a virus, because androids aren’t supposed to feel pain.

Sonia smiles as if she knows what he’s thinking. ‘You see, someone who really just hated your kind developed a virus to allow you to feel pain.’

Nines continues to scream. It hurts to feel, and it hurts to scream. Sonia just watches him, smiling at his pain, like a sadist. She watches him as she drags the bullet out of his arm, tearing wires and plastic along the way.

Thirum bleeds out of his wounds, and for the first time in his existence, Nines is scared of what that means. He gets notifications of his depleting thirium levels, but it’s hard to focus on them through the haze of pain.

‘Let’s just hope that your detective friends don’t… interrupt our meeting.’

Nines thrashes against his restraints, the urge to protect his friends overwhelming.

Sonia shoots him again, in the other arm.

\--

‘We’ve arrived.’ Connor says. He glances back at Gavin, who is eager to get Nines out of whatever predicament he’s in.

‘Well then what the fuck are we waiting for?’ Gavin tears the door open and stumbles out, looking at the warehouse. Hank and Connor join him.

The warehouse is an old thing, at the edge of Detroit. It’s an optimal place for kidnapping or murder; there are no living quarters near it, and no one would even know of its existence. A faded CyberLife sign is painted on the top.

One of the first CyberLife factories, closed down because it was too far from the masses.

Connor places a hand on Gavin’s shoulder. ‘We must be careful; we do not know who may have taken Nines. They may be unstable and choose to follow an irrational plan if we cause them trouble.’

‘Okay,’ Gavin whispers. It’s the first time that he’s willingly agreed with Connor.

They go in, Hank and Gavin pulling out their guns. Connor goes before them; as an android, he’s got the advantage of living through any gunshot. Rats scurry around, making the detectives jump.

Gavin’s nerves are on fire. He’s sure that they’re going to be fried later, and that he’s going to get enough sleep for a week, but right now adrenaline runs through his veins and he just wants to find Nines.

Connor holds up a hand, halting their progress. He types a message, which Hank receives and shows to Gavin.

‘I can hear voices; I cannot recognise them, but they are at the far back of the warehouse.’

Gavin grabs Hank’s phone and messages back. ‘Then let’s go, it might be Nines.’

They go further, stealth being prioritised. Connor is still at the front, with Hank bringing up the rear behind the impatient Gavin.

The voices that Connor mentioned grow louder, and the humans become able to hear them. One is higher, more feminine, and the other one is screaming and -

And the other one is Nines screaming. Gavin can hardly breathe.

Nines, the sweet android that seems cold at first glance. Nines, the most advanced military android who can detect lies a mile away. Nines, who will always put his friends above everything, even above his mission.

Nines, his partner and coworker.

Nines, the guy he’s got a crush on.

Nines, Richard, RK900, is in pain.

Connor and Hank look as shocked as Gavin. Connor’s face morphs into unrestrained anger, his LED red. Hank looks equally as angry, his grip tightening on his gun.

All three of them know that the most important thing to do at that very moment is to save Nines from whatever hell he’s facing.

They wander towards the voices, catching bits and pieces of talk as they go. The higher voice is identified by Connor to be Sonia Griffin, the wife of a criminal Nines and Gavin had caught in their early days.

They stop in front of a partially opened door, light and voices coming from inside, and they’re so, so close.

Nines seems to have a moment of peace, and then he screams again, and the detectives rush in.

\--

Nines is in so much pain that he doesn’t realise that the attacks have stopped. There’s thirum bleeding out of multiple places on his body - his HUD alerts him that his thirum levels are at fifty-eight percent - there are thirteen open wounds on his body - there are four heat signatures in the room -

Four?

Four?

One is recognised as Sonia Griffin, and the other three are -

Hank, Connor, and -

Gavin.

Gavin came for him. Here Nines had been stupid enough to shut off his processors, stupid enough to allow himself to be kidnapped when he was in a unresponsive mode, stupid enough to choose the safety of silence.

And yet Gavin had still come.

A gunshot rings through the air and Nines automatically flinches. It doesn’t come his way, however; instead, it flies in the air in Connor’s direction.

Connor dodges and runs towards Sonia, his LED a blazing blood red. She growls and slams another door open, vanishing into the warehouse. Connor and Hank follow behind, close, spurned by anger and adrenaline.

Nines looks up at Gavin with pain in his eyes.

\--

It physically hurts Gavin to see Nines in this much pain. The android’s LED is stuck at a permanent red, and thirium leaks from too many wounds.

The detective kneels next to the android, hands trembling as he tries to clean up the blue blood. It stains his hands that cyan blue he hates to see, and Nines just looks at him through it all.

‘Gavin,’ he whispers, his voice cracking just the slightest amount. Gavin nearly falls onto Nines, trying to support him into a better position.

‘Nines - oh fuck, Nines,’ Gavin whispers, his voice broken. ‘I’m so, god, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have - I didn’t mean -’

‘Not your - fault,’ Nines croaks, the words laced in static. His LED spins a vicious red. ‘I was - scared.’

Gavin rests his forehead against Nines’ bloody one. ‘It’s - it’s okay. We’re - we’ll get you out of here.’

Nines whispers something, but Gavin doesn’t catch it. ‘What?’

‘Can’t - to CyberLife,’ Nines lets himself be helped up by Gavin. ‘Go - Kamski.’

Gavin doesn’t want to go to Kamski. He doesn’t want to confront that part of his life, especially with Hank and Connor there. He doesn’t mind letting Nines in, but he’s still nervous about what will happen when everyone finds out.

Nines walks slowly, wincing every so often. They end up in front of the warehouse; Sonia’s gone, probably dragged back to the precinct; Connor stands outside the ugly grey walls.

Everything’s nearly at an end.

Gavin walks up to Connor, still supporting the taller android. ‘Where’s Hank?’

‘Taking Sonia to the precinct,’ Connor’s answer is short and sharp. He glances at Nines and directs his attention towards the other android. ‘We need to get you to CyberLife.’

Gavin’s about to answer for Nines, when the android shouts out a strangled ‘no!’.

Connor looks confused; Nines winces and tries again. ‘Not fix - by CyberLife - need Kamski.’

‘Kamski doesn’t do things for nothing,’ Connor argues, knowing all too well the dangers of the former CEO of CyberLife. ‘He’ll ask for a price you can’t pay.’

Like the choice between answers and the life of another android.

‘He owes me a favour,’ Gavin interrupts. ‘We need to go to him. Now.’

The favour is family.

\--

It’s still Winter, so Kamski’s mansion looks as foreboding as ever. The walls seem to loom over the police car.

‘Let’s go,’ Gavin near-whispers, trying to find his confidence.

Connor looks doubtful, supporting the half-conscious Nines. ‘Are you sure that Kamski will help?’

‘Yeah,’ Gavin says. He’s not sure, actually, but he knows that he’ll do anything for Nines. ‘Yeah, he will.’

They get out of the car, both supporting Nines, who can hardly walk. A faint static buzz comes from the android as they approach the door.

Gavin knocks. Connor stands there, quietly taking Nines’ weight, waiting, suspicious.

The door opens.

‘Gavin,’ says a Chloe. ‘Come in. Elijah will be with you in just a moment.’

Connor glances at the detective with a look that says ‘how the hell does she know you?’

Gavin doesn’t explain. They go in, quietly, and place Nines down on an armchair. The android looks far too weak for Gavin’s liking.

Connor opens his mouth, about to ask his question when the door opens and Elijah Kamski, clad in but a bathrobe, enters.

‘Gavin,’ he says, glancing at the two androids next. ‘And Connor. Oh, and the RK900.’

Connor says ‘Richard’ at the same time that Gavin says ‘Nines’. Elijah glances at the two, who viciously glare at each other.

‘Well. What seems to be the matter?’

Connor starts to explain, but Gavin cuts him off, urgent. ‘Nines is hurt. He can feel pain, and I think that there’s some kind of virus in him. He’s losing too much thirium. Elijah, please, just help me - him.’

The words tumble out faster than he’s ever spoken. Elijah looks at him with hard eyes.

‘And what will you do for me?’

Ever the businessman, Elijah is.

‘Anything that isn’t too extreme.’ Gavin sputters, and knows that it’s the truth.

‘Answer my messages and come to lunch when I ask you to,’ Elijah smirks, motions for the Chloes to help him bring Nines to wherever he meddles with technology, and leaves Gavin and Connor alone. ‘Toodles.’

\--

Five or so minutes pass. Gavin’s beginning to enjoy the silence when Connor so rudely breaks it.

‘How do you know Kamski?’

‘Not telling.’ Gavin answers, shooting a message to Tina explaining the situation and where he is.

‘There are no medical records that tie you together.’

‘Do I look like I give a shit?’

‘You have similar facial features and Kamski conversed with you as though he knew you well. Could it be that you are related?’

‘No comment.’ Gavin plays games on his phone and pointedly ignores the android, who doesn’t appreciate being ignored.

\--

They stay at Kamski's. The elusive man is busy, hidden away in his technology; the Chloes don't let neither Gavin nor Connor see Nines, but they give Gavin updates, which he passes onto Connor. Kamski promises that Nines will 'be better by tomorrow'. 

He was once CEO of CyberLife; he invented the androids. He knows what he's doing.

Gavin and Connor spend the night in separate rooms, but both sleep near where Nines is held. Gavin doesn’t sleep well, tossing and turning even in his nightmares and dreams.

It’s three in the morning when he decides he’s had enough.

The detective gets up and pads into the hallway, searching for his stash of cigarettes. It may be a bit early and cold for a cigarette, but he craves the soothing burn of nicotine.

Gavin slams into something warm and hard. He curses and blinks his eyes to full consciousness.

‘What the fuck are y - ‘

He knows that face.

‘Nines?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hahaha it took me so long to write this, I am so sorry
> 
> I've got a Tumblr with updates and asks open for prompts for ficlets, it's kemvon there too lol
> 
> the angst. is finally. done
> 
> this may have two or three more chapters coming up
> 
> once again, sorry for how long this took!


	5. Honesty In The Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They don't quite talk. But they do something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay okay i know its been ages. i guess i realised that this has absolutely no plot and i had no idea what to do; i'm much better at just short one shots, which is what this started off as
> 
> this is short and bad and ill go back to writing my one shots and then ill come back to this to make a proper fic
> 
> i am, however, planning a decent-length reed900 fic that'll incorporate some of my shitty one shots. i want something with proper plot and characters, and i also need to play more dbh to understand gavin more

Gavin can’t believe it. Before him stands Nines, fully functional, LED a wondrous blue. The android is smiling - there are no unseen glitches, everything is over, Nines is  _ safe _ .

‘Hello, Gavin.’ Nines whispers in his wondrous voice. 

Gavin can’t stop himself. He hugs Nines, hiding his face in the android’s chest. He’s laughing and crying at the same time. Nines holds him back softly, resting his head against the detective’s.

‘It is - it is you, yeah?’

‘Yes, Gavin, it is me. Your brother successfully removed the virus without damaging any of my components.’ Nines says softly, his LED switching yellow as a holographic image of his components comes up.

Gavin looks at it, at the new logs, the replaced parts, the remaining memory chip. God. Nines really is fine.

And then something clicked. He jumps back. ‘My  _ brother? _ ’ His heart is pounding too fast; just what did Elijah tell him? What will Nines think of him now, just some detective with a billionaire who was and will always be better than him?

Nines looks at him, frowning slightly. ‘Yes, I -’ He shifts, his LED a concerning red. Gavin wants to do nothing more than comfort him. ‘I had suspected for a while, but I had not wished to press…’

Gavin’s hands twitch. He’s between punching and pulling Nines towards him. Nines’ face is twisted up; he’s biting his lip, an unusually human trait.

‘Please - Gavin, I do not think of you any differently. You have always been Detective Reed to me, or-or Gavin, and - and -’

Fuck. Nines looks ready to cry. Gavin takes Nines’ face in his hands and places a tender kiss on his LED, which slowly turns back to blue. Nines’ blue eyes follow him as he comes back to rest his forehead against his.

Nines’ synthetic skin pulls back to reveal his white chassis.

‘I - I apologise. I have not yet fully recovered - there are still some glitches and - and,’ The android’s voice grows distorted by static. ‘I do not have full control over my components if I become, ah, too emotional.’

Gavin smiles at him. ‘It’s okay, tin can. You’re okay.’

He can feel the urge to kiss Nines, to show his android that everything is okay, everything will be fine, they’re out of this mess. The detective goes to do it, trying to make sure that it won’t end like the first time they kissed, and Nines looks at him too, and -

‘What is going on here?’

The only thought in Gavin’s head is  _ fucking Connor _ . The little shit just had to come in at the worst possible time.

‘Richard. I wish to speak with you.’ The RK800 pointedly ignores Gavin, only throwing a cursory glance. 

Gavin and Nines are still standing pretty close, and the detective touches the back of Nines’ hand. The android looks down at him, smiles at him softly, and gives his hand a quick squeeze.

Then he leaves. He fucking goes with dipshit Connor. Gavin resists the urge to punch someone. It’s early in the morning, he’s had to put up with his brother, Nines  _ just _ got fixed, and now Connor takes him away.

Gavin goes to bed. He doesn’t sleep.

\--

‘What is your relationship with Detective Reed?’

Nines doesn’t answer. His LED goes yellow. What  _ is _ his relationship with Detective Reed? They’ve been partners, friends to a degree, they’ve kissed, Gavin seems to want to kiss him again -

‘I don’t know.’ He honestly doesn’t. He doesn’t know what Gavin wants from him. He doesn’t know if Gavin hates him or loves him, and sometimes he looks more likely to punch him rather than kiss him.

‘What does your HUD say?’ Connor has that awkward tinge in his voice when he drops the social modules and all brotherly instinct comes out.

Nines knows what it says.

**GAVIN REED > LOVER.**

He shares the image with Connor, not wanting to say it out loud. Connor sends back waves of concern, worry, care.

‘I do not know how smart it would be to engage in a romantic relationship with Detective Reed. He seems to still harbour some dislike to androids.’

Nines stutters. ‘He does not - Gavin is not like that anymore.’

He really isn’t. He’s rough and crass but he’s got a heart that loves. He likes cats and coffee and will do anything to protect the ones he loves.

Gavin Reed is the best damn detective he’s ever seen who wants justice. Human and android. Probably even cat.

Connor leaves it at that. He just leaves with a message saying to be careful.

It is 3.53 AM. Gavin is probably asleep by now. Unless -

Yes, a quick thermal scan of his surroundings reveals that Gavin is up and pacing around his temporary room. 

Nines walks quickly, scanning every couple of seconds. Kamski is in his laboratory and Connor has retired to his room. He approaches Gavin’s room, and after a moment of hesitation, knocks.

\--

‘Come in.’ Gavin murmurs, not pausing his pacing. He doesn’t know who’s on the other side of the door (he hopes it’s Nines), but he lets them in anyways.

It’s Nines. The android comes in, quiet and solemn. ‘Detective.’ 

‘Nines,’ Gavin whispers, still overrun by that  _ stupid _ urge to rush in and kiss him. Fuck. ‘What - what can I help you with?’

‘I believe that we should talk.’

Gavin immediately gets scared and wants to say no, but he doesn’t want things to end up like they did last time. ‘Okay.’ 

‘I have developed a romantic attraction towards you.’

  
Well. That’s always one way to go about things.

Gavin brushes a hand through his hair. Scratches at his arm. Fiddles with his fingers. ‘Yeah, uh, me too.’

This is the most stupid confession he’s ever made. How do you tell an android who’s saved your life, and who you nearly got killed, that you’ve grown to like him?

‘May I kiss you?’ Nines asks, voice small. His LED is red, his hair out of place. He’s -

He’s scared. Just like Gavin.

Gavin smiles, soft and very unlike him. ‘You don’t need to ask, tin can.’

Nines takes a step closer, hesitating. He holds Gavin’s face in his hands, fingers cold and soft and the chassis coming through.

Gavin doesn’t know who kissed who. They both lean in at the same time, and then they’re kissing, soft and not quite like making out.

They’ll leave the talking to later.


	6. surprise i'm not dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> surprise

hi! so i'm not dead, just very overrun with school work

I've got a plot I'm mostly okay with, but I don't know if I should write it and post as I go, or write it all and then post regularly  
it'll be posted as another work and I'll leave this one to gather dust probs

any opinions? and would anyone beta it?


End file.
